Let’s talk about sex, baby! (Salt-N-Pepa reference)
Sex is ultimately a longing, a passion, a deep desire for connection. Thomas Aquinas, writing in the 13th century, called its purposes offspring, fidelity, and sacrament. Offspring, of course, being the physical part of the relationship where the two beings become one. Fidelity is the relationship aspect when two people are confirming their commitment to one another. *Fun fact fellas…commitment is the best aphrodisiac for your girl* Then, sacrament being the spiritual component when the two become one flesh in every way.
There are 3 aspects of great sex!
- Learning how everything works physically
- Experiencing the deep connection that comes through making love
- Creating a great friendship that fuels passion
Sex is a vital part of a relationship. The Good Girl’s Guide to Great Sex by Sheila Wray Gregoire talks about some great points on how, genetically, males are different from females. The way their brain and body is set up requires them to think of sex differently than females.
Men
- Sex drive is more body-focused
- Make love to feel loved
- Sex is the doorway into intimacy
- Guaranteed to orgasm
- Challenge: accept the need of emotional attachment
Women
- Body is more relationship-focused
- Need to feel loved in order to make love
- Intimacy is the doorway into sex
- Not guaranteed to orgasm
- Challenge: accept the man’s drive
Therefore, for men to get their deepest needs for sex met, they need to focus on our need for a relationship and for women to get our deepest needs for relationships met, we need to focus on our man’s need for sex.
Sex is like relationship insurance; when you make love frequently, your relationship is far more likely to go smoothly in all other areas. You’ll feel closer. You’ll feel more connected. Sex is made to reaffirm your commitment and to feel far more bonded.
Love 101 