Boundaries in the spiritual world are often times hard to see because they are not physical boundaries such as fences, walls, or hedges. Often times when you read relationship advice, there is a statement somewhere about setting boundaries. The book “Boundaries” by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend helps clarify these intangible boundaries.
Boundaries define who you are; they define your soul. You must guard them and maintain them like your life depends on them. Boundaries tell someone who you are and who you will not be. Setting boundaries is a way of taking ownership over your life.
The concept of boundaries comes from the Bible and the nature of God. God designed a world where we all live “within” ourselves. We are responsible for the things that make us who we are. God has boundaries! He confronts sin and allows consequences for behavior. As so should you when someone does not respect a boundary you have for yourself. God guards his house and does not let evil things inside of his space. Again, as so should you! Take note that the “gates” of his boundaries opens and closes appropriately. Your gates should do the same.
Below there are 5 different aspects in life that are examples of boundaries:
- Skin – The most basic boundary that defines you is your skin. This is a physical boundary. Your skin protects your body. Your skin also has openings that lets the good in and the bad out (i.e. food and waste).
- Words – Being clear about your no and your yes is a theme that runs throughout the Bible (Matt. 5:37 and James 5:12). Communicate your feelings, intentions, or dislikes to whoever needs to hear them.
- Truth – “You will reap what you sow” (Gal. 6:7) is a phrase used many times. This means you will either define yourself in relation to that reality, or continue to go against it and continue to get hurt. Honesty about who you are gives you the biblical value of integrity.
- Geographical Distance – Sometimes physically removing yourself from a situation is establishing a boundary. The Bible urges us to separate from those who continue to hurt us and to create a safe place for ourselves.
- Time – Take time away from something to regain ownership or take the time to create new boundaries
To dive deeper, consider reading the book Boundaries.
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