As humans, it is part of who we are to want to make others feel better. We want to help and we want to be helped. However, grieving individuals often feel shamed and dismissed. There is not a Grief Olympics! Grief is as individual as love – each loss is different and not one is the same. Although there is not a Grief Olympics, there is a Grief Hierarchy. Divorcing from a partner is not the same as the death of a partner. The death of a grandparent is not the same as a death of a child. Losing a job is not the same as losing a limb. However, what we need to remember is to honor all griefs. Whether small or large, honor all griefs and do not compare.
If you cringe or feel angry when someone is trying to comfort you, then they do not see you. As an individual who is grieving, you need to feel seen and heard. The reality of your loss should be reflected back to you and not diminished. Everyone should acknowledge the pain.
As I have already stated throughout my series of blogs on grief, grief is not a problem that needs a solution, it is an experience to be carried. The work to be done during this time is to find and receive support and comfort that will help you live with your new reality. Companionship is the way forward.
This information was gathered while reading “It’s OK That You’re Not OK” by Megan Devine.
Love 101 