12 Kinds of Love

Below is a list of 6 different kinds of love a woman and man needs with explanations of each.

She needs…

  1. Caring
    • When a man shows interest in a woman’s feelings and concern for her well-being, she feels loved and cared for. He fulfills her first primary need, which causes her to begin to trust him more and be more open/receptive.
  2. Understanding
    • When a man listens without judgement, but with empathy and relatedness to a woman express her feelings, she feels heard and understood.
  3. Respect
    • When a man responds to a woman in a way that acknowledges and prioritizes her rights, wishes, and needs, she feels respected. When his behavior takes into consideration her thoughts and feelings, she is sure to feel respected.
  4. Devotion
    • When a man gives priority to a woman’s needs and commits himself to supporting and fulfilling her, then her fourth primary need is fulfilled.
  5. Validation
    • A woman’s fifth primary need is fulfilled when a man does not object to or argue with a woman’s feelings/wants but instead accepts and confirms their validity. (Remember one can validate a point of view while having a different point of view.)
  6. Reassurance
    • This primary need is fulfilled when a man repeatedly shows that he cares, understands, respects, validates, and is devoted to his partner. A man must remember to reassure her again and again throughout the relationship.

He needs…

  1. Trust
    • When a woman is open and receptive toward a man he feels trusted. When a woman’s reactions reveal a positive belief in his abilities and intentions, then his first primary love need is fulfilled. He automatically becomes more caring.
  2. Acceptance
    • When a woman lovingly receives a man without trying to change him, he feels accepted. An accepting attitude does not reject, but affirms that he is being received.
  3. Appreciation
    • When a woman acknowledges having received benefit and value from a man’s efforts and behavior, he feels appreciated. Appreciation is a natural reaction to being supported. When a man feels appreciated he is encouraged to give more.
  4. Admiration
    • To admire a man is to regard him with wonder, delight, and pleased approval. A man feels admired when she is happily amazed by his unique characteristics.
  5. Approval
    • A woman’s approving attitude acknowledges the goodness in a man and expresses overall satisfaction with him. (Remember giving approval does not mean you are in agreement.) An approving attitude recognizes or looks for the good reasons behind what he does.
  6. Encouragement
    • A woman’s encouraging attitude gives hope and courage to a man by expressing confidence in his abilities and character. When a woman’s attitude expresses the first five primary needs it encourages a man to be all that he can be.

You may have noticed that each one of these goes hand in hand. Relationships become easier when we understand our partner’s primary needs.

*Information from the book Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus by Dr. John Gray*

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