Dating as a Millennial

Romantic relationships were much easier when we were younger. If someone liked us, then they told us and if we liked them back, then we became a couple. Today, things have gotten much more complicated. Below is a list of reasons why dating as a millennial may be difficult.

1. Ghosting
   • If we are no longer interested in dating someone, then we ghost them. We don’t tell them and think it’s okay because it is over text messages or social media. However, it is not okay. Communicate and explain why you may no longer be interested.
2. Sex
   • Scarily, sex is easily available. A swipe of a finger is all it takes now. No one is willing to put any effort into getting to know someone unless they are willing to undress first. 9 times out of 10, sex does not lead to a relationship. Sex leads to confusion, heartache, and other one night stands with other people. Your body is your temple. Cherish it and protect it! Everyone does not deserve to be let in.
3. Emotions
   • For some reason, these days, showing emotions is heavily frowned upon. If someone, especially a man, shows they care and are interested, then the person becomes standoffish and runs in the opposite direction. Why? Instead, be flattered and accepting. Show gratitude that someone feels comfortable enough to share their emotions with you.
4. Competition
   • Social media plays a huge part in relationships today. Everyone feels like they have to be in competition with each other. You see one couple happy, traveling the world, and doing all these things, so you feel like you and your partner have to do the same. That is not okay. Stop idolizing other couples. Every relationship is different. What works for one couple may not work for your relationship.
5. Strategic
   • Whether you may realize it or not, when approaching a relationship it comes naturally to be very strategic. For instance, responding right away comes across as desperate, thirsty, and too available so we time how long we take to respond to a message. Why? Instant messaging is supposed to be instant! Stop trying to show how busy you are, important you may be, and unattached you are. If you are both interested in each other, then there is no reason to be strategic. Just let it flow!
6. Perfection
   • Social media, movies, songs, TV shows, and the list goes on…makes us believe we are entitled to a fairy tale love story that does not exist. We cut people off who does not meet this criteria and look for the next best thing who will somehow still not meet this criteria. No one will ever be good enough with this mindset. You must realize relationships are a balanced bond, meaning with amazing things come imperfections as well.
7. Options
   • Millennials are overloaded with options. We don’t believe we need to settle because there are always someone better. Better looking, better job, better family life, better hobbies, better bank account, better morals, etc. We move from person to person and even if we land on someone who makes us feel phenomenal and who we could totally devote ourselves to in a relationship, we never quit our search. The never-ending journey becomes a thrill. Millennials seems to enjoy the chase and the thrill of the search more so than the prize itself.
8. Content
   • While navigating the journey to find love, many find that they have entered into a life that is happy and rewarding without someone to love. Being content and happy in life without a partner makes it much harder to invite a relationship into your life. There is not anything wrong with being happy and comfortable on your own. However, there may be someone waiting for you to let them in to add to your happiness.
9. Stuck
   • Commitment (defined by a millennial): A relationship with no strings attached. There is no title (girlfriend, boyfriend, partner). Just two people enjoying each other’s company and being intimate with one another. Often times we are stuck in a grey area because we are left wondering where the relationship is headed, if anywhere, and plague ourselves with wondering if we are wasting our time. No one is clear about their intentions. Some even lie about their intentions because they have this big ego. Basically, no one has a clue what is going on.
   • Stop putting yourself into these types of situations. Stand up for you what you want because more than likely you want that title, you want to be exclusive, and you want to be fully committed with no grey areas.
10. Accountability
    • Start taking some accountability. We don’t feel accountable for the pain we inflict onto others and that is an issue. When we have hurt someone feelings, we do not feel the need to apologize because it is not our problem it is theirs. Wrong! Take accountability and apologize. Understand when you are wrong, why you may be wrong, and apologize. Take ownership over your actions.
    • Gaslighting falls into this category for me as well. If you have done something, then take accountability for that instead of switching it onto your partner to make them feel like it was their fault when it wasn’t. Do not become a manipulative person. It is much easier to just own up to what you may have done, apologize for it, and move on.

*This blog was inspired by Andrea Wesley*