Also known as strategic incompetence, weaponized incompetence refers to a situation wherein a person pretends to be bad at doing something in order to get out of doing certain tasks. It can pertain to any task at all but usually manifests itself in home life settings, like care tasks, leading to domestic inequalities.
Modern Intimacy
Weaponized incompetence is an issue I have been seeing quite frequently lately. As the quote states above, this is, typically, an issue within the household when it comes to the household chores. Nine times out of ten, the men are the ones who display signs of weaponized incompetence, but women are not excluded. Take a lot at the chart below to understand how to go about weaponized incompetence.
- “It’ll be easier or get done sooner if I just do it myself”
- They think they are helping, but are not
- Invisible work (behind the scenes work)
- Gender roles
- Have the conversation and bring it to their attention
- Set clear boundaries
- Let your partner see the work you are doing
- Help your partner when needed but do NOT baby them
More information on this topic:
Fair Play by Eve Rodsky and Girls Gotta Eat Podcast by Ashley Hesseltine and Rayna Greenberg
Love 101 