Ever had the thought cross your mind that maybe you are the problem? Maybe you are. I know it sounds harsh, but it is real. Let’s talk about things that may make you undateable.
Bad Dating History
Dating many people can be a positive and a negative. It is great to explore your options and get to know what you really want and are looking for in a partner. However, someone pursuing you and interested in dating you may see your dating history as a red flag.
Also, take into consideration the type of people you are dating. Do not let failed attempts deter you from continuing to date. It may just be the type of person you are dating is not the type of person you are actually looking to settle down with. If this is the case, then do not let the bad dating history take over. Switch it up and see how it goes.
Not Being Vulnerable
Are you opening up and sharing information with your partner or the person you are dating? To make a connection with someone, you must be vulnerable. You have to allow people into your world. It is understandable to take baby steps. I am not saying to be an open book, but dig deep and allow others to understand who you truly are.
Own your story! Whatever you think may scare someone away, may actually draw them closer. Being confident and owning your story is seen as attractive and intriguing to the right person. Their reaction to whatever you are opening up to them about will tell you information about their character.
Power of the Tongue
“People will think of you how you speak of yourself.” I am not sure who deserves credit for that statement, but it is true. The tongue is very powerful. If you are talking bad about yourself in any way, shape, or form, then the person you are dating are going to feel the same way about you. “You cannot love someone else if you do not love yourself” is also a common saying that is very accurate. Speak positivity over you, your life, and your companionship. Speaking highly of yourself and truly believing it will allow others to do the same. They will realize that you are the catch!
Schedules
Everyone has their own lives and day to day schedules. Take a minute and go through your day to day schedule. From the moment you wake up in the morning to the time you go to bed at night and note everything that you do. Do you have time to date? Are these times consistent?
Compromise
Everyone likes to be courted and feel desired. Everyone loves to receive, but not everyone loves to give. When it comes to dating, be willing to compromise. Everything does not have to be 50/50, however it should not be 100/0 or 90/10. If the person you are dating are always the one to come to see you, then offer to go to them. If they are always the one planning the dates, then surprise them and plan a date yourself. If they are constantly complimenting you, then simply compliment them (beat them to it if you can).
Are you able to maintain a healthy balance? Are you able to be understanding? Are you able to empathize? If you were skeptical or answered “no” to any of those questions, then maybe you are undateable.
Next Steps
After determining whether you are undateable or dateable, decide on what your next steps should be. I am not the one to tell you what those next steps are. The steps you take depends on the outcome you would like. If you are okay with not dating at the moment, then that is perfectly fine! Focus on you! If you are trying to date at the moment, but some of the topics discussed in this blog pertains to you, then it is your choice on what to do next.
After having conversations with friends and listening to the podcast tagged below, I understand many people do not realize if they are the ones who are undateable. I am one to uplift others and give a positive word, however sometimes we need to hear the hard truth.
Love 101 