Blaming others for our pain is our go-to mechanism. We are quick to demonize rather than empathize. The culture of blame keeps us safe. There is a cultural storyline that glorifies transformation. Suffering, in fact, allows you to grow. Unaddressed, unacknowledged pain does not go away. Feeling WITH yourself and others (empathy) is the hallmarkContinue reading “The Culture of Blame”
Tag Archives: love
Stages of Grief
The 5 Stages of Grief The stages of grief were developed by Kübler-Ross. According to her, an individual who is grieving is expected to move through a series of clear stages: denial, anger, bargaining, and depression, to eventually arrive at “acceptance” at which is a time that their “grief work” should be complete. However, later,Continue reading “Stages of Grief”
Words of Comfort May Feel So Bad
As humans, it is part of who we are to want to make others feel better. We want to help and we want to be helped. However, grieving individuals often feel shamed and dismissed. There is not a Grief Olympics! Grief is as individual as love – each loss is different and not one isContinue reading “Words of Comfort May Feel So Bad”
Grief is NOT a Problem
No matter what anyone says, grief is not a problem. It is not “wrong”, it is not an “illness”, and it cannot be “fixed” or “cured”. Acknowledgment is everything at this time. You are in pain and it cannot be made better. However, you do not need solutions. You do not need to move onContinue reading “Grief is NOT a Problem”
Green Flags
Green flags are words, behaviors, and feelings that makes someone feel seen, heard, safe, healthy, and supported by the other. With that being said this is not an all or nothing situation. Everyone is human. Everyone makes mistakes. These are green flags in terms of how you typically feel around the person. A nine timesContinue reading “Green Flags”
Daily Deeps
At the start of my relationship with my fiancé, I used to ask a lot of “off the wall” questions and think of random scenario questions. So much so that my fiancé, who was a guy I was just casually talking to at the time and getting to know, named these conversations “daily deeps”. IContinue reading “Daily Deeps”
Security
As I am studying to become a Marriage and Family Therapist, I was assigned a reading related to Emotion-Focused Therapy. This model of therapy uses the integration of attachment theory and the emotional system. In previous blogs, I have explained attachment styles and pursue/withdraw patterns. If you not have read those, then please do soContinue reading “Security”
TTP: Self Love
Love begins from within Accepting your body takes practice. Loving your body takes practice. It takes constant work each and every day. Some days are easy and some days are hard. Take time to look at your body completely naked in a full body mirror each day. Notice things about your body that you mayContinue reading “TTP: Self Love”
Keeping Your Pink Slip
Alexa, play “Independent” by Webbie featuring Lil Boosie and Lil Phat! Keeping your pink slip, basically, means to be able to hold your own without depending on your man. If you can take care of yourself, then everything he gives you becomes gravy because he isn’t the whole mashed potatoes. If you get what IContinue reading “Keeping Your Pink Slip”
Turn On/Turn Off
Men like to feel desired and doesn’t like to question his manhood, so below are the top male views on how to keep that “spark” in a relationship. Hearing compliments as feedback to know their wife/girlfriend still finds them desirable. Surprise him with something. The element of surprise is a turn on. Still make timeContinue reading “Turn On/Turn Off”
Love 101 